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Hey GOP Lawmakers: If You Want to Live in the 1950’s so Bad, Why Not Build a Time Machine Instead?

My heart ached with all my fellow North Carolinians as our governor, Pat McCrory, signed into law one of the most discriminative, bigoted laws our country has seen lately. HB2 was made as a response to lawmakers in Charlotte, NC attempting to pass a non-discriminatory LGBT+ law that would allow individuals to use bathrooms that their gender identity matches, instead of what their birth certificates might say. This is all apparently a part of the national movement by certain GOP lawmakers to go back in time as far as possible, since the makers of Back to the Future lied and time travel has not been invented yet. It’s okay, I’m upset too, but not bitter enough about it to write and pass laws that ruin a ton of lives.

HB2 not only invalidates the ordinance that Charlotte tried to pass, it now supersedes any anti-discrimination ordinances that local governments have passed and might want to pass. That’s right, North Carolina Republicans just undid decades of progress just to be petty. Furthermore, the bill will let businesses turn LGBT+ folk away now that they are not recognized as legally protected under NC’s new definition of discrimination, while also blocking any local governments from raising the minimum wage in the state, a little something extra they added in for some more twisting of that knife. And to top it off, anyone who would now want to file a discrimination lawsuit would have to do it through the Federal court systems instead now that North Carolina has their new special, queerphobic definition of discrimination.

And this is definitely not NC Republicans’ first walk down Asshole Lane. Senator Thom Tillis recently argued for getting rid of the laws that require employees in restaurants to wash their hands after using the bathroom, because, why the fuck not? Or the controversial abortion bill my lovely home state also passed this January that requires doctors who perform an abortion after 16 weeks to send an ultrasound to state officials, also because, why the fuck not?

These spineless legislators are just following a national trend of bigotry, ignorance, and selfishness. Indiana, also known for becoming a national disgrace over passing legal discrimination laws, just signed into law Thursday a bill that extremely restricts abortion in the state, even calling for the proper funeral burial or cremation of aborted fetuses after the procedure. Our legislators suck, and it is because not enough of us have been voting in past elections, and are now clinging to our lives and our rights as they are stripped from us.

So now we get to sit back and watch, in horror, as our lawmakers drag us back to a time of racist diners, vanilla milkshakes, strict gender roles, and legal discrimination. Make America great again, am I right? And on behalf of North Carolina, America, I apologize for becoming another embarrassment to social progress. In good ol’ NC, we like our tea sweet and our minorities discriminated against.


[Images via x & x]

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Written by Becki Fernandez

Becki Fernandez is a college sophomore, part-time rockstar and full-time feminist. She is in an all girls feminist rock band, Swine, that will surely save the world and rock n roll. She is majoring in Communication Studies at UNCW, with a minor in Women and Gender Studies. In her free time, you can find her at Taco Bell or crying at sloth videos on her laptop. Becki is fiercely proud of her Cuban heritage and is not afraid to steal the aux cord at parties and play some salsa. Her life goals include dying her hair pink and punching Donald Trump right in his bigoted face.

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